Liveblogging the GOP Debate

October 21st, 2007 by Steve

The typing may be awful, as I just impaled my hand with a spike from a chicken rotisserie. Don’t ask how it happened, but I haven’t even had a sip of alcohol (yet). Good thing my wife’s a doctor.

Pregame Show

The Frank Luntz/Jimmy the Greek focus group is really scared the Democrats will win.

Ron Paul is certifiably insane, according to one “expert.” Socialists are bad. Hillary is a socialist. Most of the room agrees.

Republicans have no balls, according on one person. Another wants Reagan to be resurrected on the third day.

The crowd agrees, foreign policy is the most important issue.

Almost the entire room is undecided about who they will vote for on Election Day.

Sean Hannity: Hillary is going to give everyone a brand new car.

Commercial

This Fox News program is sponsored by Plavix. The candidates are sponsored by……..

Back To Pregame

Alan Holmes: Hillary isn’t socialist and Ron Paul isn’t crazy.

Almost Kickoff Time

Brit Hume: …sponsored by Fox News and the home party of Katherine Harris.

Intros: Tancredo, Paul, Huckabee, Giuliani, Romney, Thompson, McCain, Hunter

Kickoff

Chris Wallace: Who is the real RINO?

Rudy on Rudy vs. Fred: I’m conservative. I cut every tax ever raised in America and got rid of all deficits and singlehandedly got New Yorkers to never look at porn again.

Mitt’s hair looks tousled. Wonder how much that cost?

Rudy and Fred don’t have to worry about tousled hair.

Mitt: We aren’t going to keep Hillary out by voting like Hillary. Then he calls MittCare in Massachusetts a free market solution.

Dead Head Fred: Was the original conservative. Compiled 100 percent record on abortion votes. Picks on Rudy, ran out of time to pick on Mitt.

Rudy: Picks on Fred on tort reform.

Fred: Fred hates just having one minute to answer simple questions. (I think I was stuck behind him in line at WalMart the other day.)

Rudy likes sanctuary cities for illegal immigrants.

John McCain seems to have smaller shoulder pads this time around. No weird hand thing going on yet.

McCain: I’ve been involved in every national crisis. Take that, Mr. Mayor of 9/11.

Mitt: We have some differences on some issues. I like killing people in jail. Proud of it, to be sure. Got English in Mass. schools for the first time. (I guess they’ve been speaking German for the last 300 years.)

McCain: Don’t call lawyers for national security crisis (stolen Ron Paul line from previous debate).

McCain’s arms grew two inches since the first GOP debate.

Time out — blood is dripping on the keyboard. Yelling at wife for more guaze.

Ron Paul on gay marriage: Couldn’t hear the question. Constitutional amendment is bad because marriage should be a religious issue, not a government. To amend the Constitution is unnecessary to define something already in the dictionary.

Mitt: I live in a gay state so I know the consequences. Want all kids to have moms and dads. By implication, does that mean all kids should come from a sperm and an egg?

Rudy: Would oppose DAMA because he did weddings when mayor of 9/11 City. Ron Paul is wrong; marriage is a civil institution.

Huckabee: Doesn’t want to fight the other candidates. Believes in the sanctity of human zygotes. The Founding Fathers were pro-life.

Fred: My firm is not me.

McCain: My straight talk is the same now as it has ever been. Likes the Viet Cong and Jerry Falwell.

Tancredo on hyphenated-conservatives: Bookend candidates bring in differences. Plugs his ACU rating and A ratings from other organizations. Bell dinged before he really said anything. Didn’t cover immigration.

Duncan: Blames Carl Cameron for dividing the GOP. Duncan blames the Democrats. Freedom is fighting/dying in Iraq.

Wendel Golem (sic) asks healthcare questions:

Big Government McCain hates big government solutions.

Paul on why he didn’t take Medicaid, but saw patients for free: Managed care sucks. HMOs suck. Give people choices. We are going broke. Stop the war and take care of poor people, save money and decrease the deficit. HillaryCare won’t work; corporate managed care won’t work.

Mitt on MittCare being just like HillaryCare: I take credit for the fascist plan, her plan is socialist. I’d rather have a corporate-government marriage and call it private market in some Orwellian manner.

Huncan Dunter: Fertility coverage for 90 year-olds sucks.

Mitt: We made major regulations in order to deregulate.

Shuckabee: We are rats in a healthcare maze. If we diet, we will cure cancer. Old babyboomer hippies will break the system (funny line, actually).

Tancredo on healthcare: Just answered a whole question without mentioning illegal immigrants. Good constitutional answer, though.

Dead Head Fred on Ever Child Left Behind: I (my vote) was wrong. The federal government is responsible for 8 percent of education. (This comes from the 34th Amendment to the Constitution.)

Rudy on blowing up NYC schools: I love teachers, but love little kids more. He’s pro-choice on schools, which (I assume) means that Planned Parenthood will endorse Rudy’s education plan.

Commercial, wine and gauze break

Got wine and gauze and made it back almost in time

Mittster: Global Jihad, the Asian Tiger and stuff are reasons why Hillary shouldn’t be president. Mitt thinks the United States is a company. If Mitt was president of AmeriCo, I’m sure the stock prices would drop. Hillary’s not fit to be CINC, no experience. (Mitt’s exhaustive military experience is the same.)

Mayor of 9/11: I am not Hillary. You have got to be kidding. We both love the Yankees. America cannot afford Hillary’s million ideas. I only suck as much as Hillary within the margin of error.

McCain-Feingold: Brave soldiers. Won’t lose a war. Respects Hillary because he knows her. I hate spending. Picks on HillaryPork. He’s proud to be a Republican, cuz at least he knows he’s free.

Shuckabee on skipping minority debates: Shame on most of you guys. Breaks out saxophone and does Bill Clinton impersonation for 1.3 seconds. Islamofascists want to kill each and every last one of us.

Fred Flintstone: Hillary will raise taxes. Omits mention of Republican deficits. Democrats soak the rich, but omits the Republican soaking of our future generations. The Founding Fathers hated Hillary, so vote for me.

Dr. No on differences with Hillary: Booed by a few for wanting to leave Iraq. Hillary won’t get us out of Iraq. Hillary sucks on privacy rights, so do you (the other Republicans). Rule of law.

FredHead: No reason to run for president if you can’t tell the truth — but it’s a difficulty politically.

(editorial note: the blood quit dripping but my keyboard is now sticky).

RudyTooty: Need to fix Social Security but Medicare and Medicaid need to be prioritized. Bring down cost of entire health insurance market. Hints at a RomneyCare-style program. Consumers should be in market.

Romney: Will have bold plan but not cut benefits. It’s OK to index Social Security only for the rich people (not sure whether Hillary or Romney made that statement, though).

Chuckabee: Not sure what he said at first. One time buy out for Social Security. People are dying fast enough on the current actuarial charts.

Doctor Congressman Mister Paul: Gov’t sucks at central planning. Allow young people to get out of Social Security. COLAs don’t keep up with inflation. Stick to the Constitution.

McCain: Taps toes while saying America needs “Straight Talk.” Blames Reagan and Tip O’Neil for fixing Social Security.

WabbitHunter: Something about level playing field twice. Wants to trade mirrors.

Tancredo: Hasn’t mentioned Mexicans again. Did he flip flop on immigration? Oops, too late. He brought up illegal immigration and corrected his last omission. (footnote: Rudy took credit for this during the post game show).

Commercial and buzz enhancement break

Sponsored by yet another big-pharma company. Almost makes one wonder why most of the GOP candidates support pro-big business/anti-patient healthcare plans.

4th Quarter

The Maverick: Putin=KGB. The Russians cause us problems. Need missiles in eastern Europe. Tough times ahead (reminded me of nuances in the big-pharma ED commercials).

HunterGatherer: Missiles from Iran… …to Europe… …AEGIS… …Black Sea… …partnership… …protect us… …intercept… …Pacific Ocean… …Alaska… …REAGAN. Yea, Missiles!

Rudy: Speak softly and carry a big missile. Phallic imagery not included. Wants to spend the US out of existence with military spending.

FreddyMercury: We likes Turkeys. Especially at Thanksgiving. We like Kurds, too. Small Kurd cottage cheese. Diplomacy works. Pelosi is for irresponsible genocide. (I assume he prefers responsible genocide).

TomTheImmigrantKiller: Pandering for votes are the reason were are here now. Pelosi sucks.

Mikey: Train and equip the Kurds. Turkey shouldn’t have acted like the U.S.

Dr. No: Non-interventionism. What happens if people put missiles in Mexiho? Talk with people, trade with people (booed). Turk’s business, not our business.

Mitt: (missed it, wife was talking). More troops. More economy. More people in our families (must be a Mormon thang).

Dr. No on Golem’s repeat question: Republicans are the big spenders. Neocons suck. Follow the Constitution. We lost last year because we forget our original positions.

Rudy: Reagan said to bomb Iran. Sanctions work — like Oil-for-Food. Chiner (sic) and Russia something or another…

FrederickDalton on being a lazy southerner: Father at 17 (impregnation in ‘57 Chevy???) Country folks. Was prosecuting people at 28. Took on corruption, then ran for Senate.

No Winner this round, folks!

P.S.  Ron Paul (and the rest of the GOP candidates) had a less than a stellar debate performance.  However, Ron Paul just won the Postgame Show when he was interviewed by Sean Hannity.  I’m sure the YouTube will be on the Internet when I get up in the morning.

Posted in Taxes, Wasteful Spending, Foreign Policy, Civil Liberties, Health Care, Ron Paul, Just for Fun, Bad Democrats, National Politics




9 Responses to “Liveblogging the GOP Debate”

  1. tam wrote on 10/21/07 at 8:04 pm :

    You do know we are dying to hear how you managed to impale your hand! ;)

    Thanks for doing the live blog…

  2. Artus Register wrote on 10/21/07 at 8:04 pm :

    How “live” is your “Live Blogging?” I hope you aren’t in Florida without letting me know. Of course it would be odd for you to be at the debate armed with a chicken rotisserie. I could see a wooden kabab stick–for obvious reasons.

  3. Steve wrote on 10/21/07 at 8:43 pm :

    Artus,

    Naaw, I’m in Alabama. They invented this television thing since HoT days.

  4. Steve wrote on 10/21/07 at 8:44 pm :

    tam — will try to explain in a bit.

  5. tam wrote on 10/21/07 at 9:26 pm :

    Glad you got the bleeding under-control…

    Great commentary so far… and better then most of the debate.

  6. LittleJim wrote on 10/21/07 at 10:36 pm :

    Damn, I didn’t know you were going to liveblog. I hung out at Reason tonight, but your’s is better. I hope your hand is OK.

  7. PGAJAMIE411 wrote on 10/21/07 at 10:50 pm :

    Vote for Ron Paul

  8. Shana wrote on 10/25/07 at 10:37 pm :

    This is much more entertaining than the real thing. I’m watching the next debate at your house. I’ll bring the wine.

  9. Daniel wrote on 02/6/08 at 11:11 pm :

    I couldn’t understand some parts of this article Liveblogging the GOP Debate, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.

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